Notes to Self on Love (& Like)

Pre-k and elementary school:

1. It’s ok to have a crush on a boy’s hair
2. Playing Atari and Indiana Jones is cool, but if I like him I need to say it before he falls for a girly girl
3. If he’s annoying, it means grandma was right. She says if a boy is mean it’s a sign that he likes you

Jr High:
1. There’s an element to bad boys that is intriguing. Run. Run for your life, Shonte!
2. Accidentally sitting in cherry pie at lunch makes you the joke of every guy in your math class, especially when you have to get up and go to the chalkboard to solve an equation
3. When * handed me that letter, the one where he wrote the lyrics to LL Cool J’s I Need Love, I should have been real and kind and open instead of cruel

High School:
1. If I like him, I better say it before discovering an x-rated letter in his gym bag from my female nemesis
2. Listening to his problems every afternoon is cool, but I’ve possibly reached a level of ambiguity, the unfortunate one-of-the-guys/non-descript zone
3. If he opens my maxi pads and sticks them everywhere, it means he likes me

College:
1. Tell the guy I love him before I pull up for evening classes and find some other chic in his face
2. It’s ok to fall in love. Maybe. Kind of. It just is.
3. When he discovers that he loves me too, don’t ruin it by slapping him in front of the rest of the football team

Early adulthood:
1. Tell him I like him before he proposes to someone and I find myself folding wedding invitations (literally)
2. It isn’t ok to continuously run from relationships because of fear and pride
3. If they’re open and vulnerable enough to express themselves, be vulnerable in return

Middle age:
1. It’s ok to drop the bravado
2. Marriage wasn’t so bad, and having kids isn’t so scary
3. Love hurts, again and again

P.S.

  • I still have a crush on *’s hair
  • Decades later, I apologized to the guy who wrote the I Need Love letter
  • Sometimes I still want to slap the college guy, but it’s all love. Always
  • I married an intellectual bad boy. I did not run
art background beautiful birthday
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Together We Make Beautiful

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by Matthew

Things I Want to Do

What is it I wish to do?
I want to get close to you;
I want to know what makes you laugh,
and makes you cry.
I want to be the one to
go with you
on those late Sunday drives.
The one to dry your tears,
to say, “I love you”
and leave no thoughts of why.
To spend my days with you
Until we die
The most pleasant thing I can think of
Is spending eternity
With you by my side.
Think of the things we can do
With the strength of love
Between us two.

From the Archive: Love Games 7/2009

 

i’ve searched for you an eternity,

rested many places along the way

lost and found and lost again

what tricky games to play

strange rooms, same darkness–

familiar, empty hole

heart ripped then mended

in the game of heart and soul

you hide and i wait,

or you come and i go

universal mystery–

are you friend or foe?

who are you, really, love;

from where do you come;

did i pass you in disguise

in this game of hit and run?

sms/7-15-2009

*Miss Elizabeth, I think this was my first post to the WD forum:-)  I was so scared and nervous.  You made a great moderator, and you guys taught me so much.

Incomplete

One of my favorite writers (that i actually know)

Incomplete by Monte Robinson

I love when you…

I hate when you…

It feels so good when you…

It hurts when you…

Why do you…

Why don’t you…

You always…

You never…

Please!  Would you…

If you ever…

Oh yes! You…

How dare you…

I need you to…

I don’t need you to…

With you …whole

Without you …incomplete

***

7/6/11 Monte Robinson

Hazy (A Freewrite) By Gwendolyn P

Miracle of miracles! My closest of kin and dear sister/best friend has agreed to share a poem.  🙂

HAZY

by Gwendolyn P

1/25/09

Occupying my mind

All of the time

These thoughts of you and I

Driving me crazy

Because things used to be so amazing

Now they’re just hazy

*

Everything that used to be

Currently seems like some kind of dream to me

Got me questioning its reality

No longer sure if it was the truth or a lie

When you said you loved me all those times

Cause you’ve changed on me with no explanation as to why

*

Leaving me to pick up these pieces

Of a heart-broken for unknown reasons

And I still can’t believe it

Felt we were bonded forever

That our love was strong enough to keep us together

And because of that, it could withstand whatever

*

Yet here I sit alone

Proving once again that I was wrong

Have I just been delusional all along?

Never before given me a reason to doubt you

But now you’re saying I’ve got to learn to live without you

Makes me wanna shake the ** out of you

*

Or, better yet, someone shake the ** out of me

Awaken me from this hellish dream

Where tears endlessly flow and from pain there’s no relief

Where no one can explain to me

How a perfectly good relationship can turn to ** almost instantly

*

I’m really needing some help solving this mystery

Because things used to be so amazing

Now they’re just….hazy