Posted in drafts/jewelsintherough, Writer's Prompts, Writing

From the Prompt: The Beautiful Voice

THE PREMISEREAD HERE  Thanks WritersDigest and Brian A. Klems for the weekly inspiration.

My Take on the Prompt:

555-555-5555

If those digits were people, she’d have poked out several eyes with the fury of her index finger.

“Seriously, you don’t have to press that hard,” her sister said, peering over her shoulder.

“It’s the principle, Bianca. I didn’t create this bill. Besides, why would I order two cases of Moroccan oil from an infomercial?”

Soft rock from an era long before all night television and identity theft floated across the line as Connie’s blood pressure rose. “As soon as they answer this phone, I’m going to—“

“Manes Incorporated.” A deep voice cut through her rant.

For the second time in a week she stated her complaint; however, there was something about this guy’s voice Continue reading “From the Prompt: The Beautiful Voice”

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Posted in Writing and all its cousins

From the Prompt: It’s You–But It Isn’t

Finally! The kids are asleep and it’s time to wind down and see what’s going on in the  ScrapBooking for Dummies forum. I never sign out, because it’s easier that way. Plus, I’m forever losing passwords.

As the page loads and images take shape, I notice something that makes me uneasy. Either my eyes are playing tricks on me or, right there in a pop up, right in the middle of the screen, is my username in bold, red letters and a caption that reads:  You people couldn’t cut a perfect circle and sticky glue it to acid-free paper if your lives depended on it.

I glance at the date. 4/3/2015 At least I’m not crazy. The date is correct. And April Fool’s is long gone. So who would do this?  Everyone in the house is clonked out, including my husband. His loud, steady snoring permeates throughout the house. I can even hear my son’s light breathing in the adjacent bedroom. Did my son, Timmy, do this? Did he accidentally mash something? The idea is plausible. Although six years old, he’s more than capable of destroying everything he touches. If he weren’t sleeping so soundly, I’d interrogate him this very instant.

However, right-clicking and pressing delete seems like a viable option; so that’s what I do.  In less than two seconds I wish I hadn’t.  GlitterMama, you’re nothing but an over-privileged stay-at-home with nothing better to do than play around with glue guns and fancy duct tape.

Oh. My. God.  Now someone is making fun of GlitterMama, aka Miss Nelly from Sunday school! Okay. I have to fix this, quickly.

Would you like to log out? Yes.

I unplug the computer and then reboot. The whole time I’m holding my breath, praying the webpage returns to normal.

There aren’t any pop-ups when the site reloads, and I let out a sigh of relief as I join a thread entitled: All You Need to Know about Digital Design.  Things are going fine. For a while. And then it starts again, this time in the comment section. WhateverTheFelt, I find your crafts both mediocre and aesthetically challenged. Give it up, girl.

I reason that surely there’s a contact page or moderator. Someone needs to know what is going on here. As I search, I notice an About Us section. I hover over the link and nearly break my finger pressing enter. At this point, if I were that type, I’d show whoever was pranking around a different finger.

Sure enough, another pop-up: HAPPY LATE APRIL FOOL’S DAY. 

A gazillion smiley faces attack the screen as the monitor blinks off and on uncontrollably.  In no way do I find this funny. In fact, if this is their idea of “fun”, I’ll show them who the fool is. This scrapbooker doesn’t need a stupid site to tell her how to digitally design an album, or anything else for that matter.

Would you like to deactivate your account?

Yes!

Continue reading “From the Prompt: It’s You–But It Isn’t”

Posted in Writer's Prompts, Writing and all its cousins

Tell It To The Hourglass

TELL IT TO THE HOURGLASS

Look, your sand is working its way toward the bottom a little too fast.

What happened to the hours in the hour-glass?

There’s a glitch somewhere. I swear it is.

There’s barely time to sleep and wake up again.

Did I even get four hours of shut-eye last night?

Moon said tell it to you; I said alright.

The sand heads to the bottom and I can’t compete.

Before I’ve poured the coffee and scribbled things to complete,

you’ve up and jumped to evening and then midnight arrives,

and I’ve hardly worked my way to number five.

I swear there’s some cheating. Who’s your boss?

I want to discuss this. And mark my to-do list off!

“God” you say?

Oh, well, never mind.

I didn’t know your superior was the Father of Time!

Please forgive me.  I was a little brass.

By all means, carry on, Hourglass.

sms/4-2014

Posted in Writer's Prompts, Writing and all its cousins

From the Archive: Mail Order Man

*From the prompt: Write About Mail Order

 

 

Customer Service:  Make-A-Man. How may I help you?

Disgruntled Customer:  Uh, yes, I’m calling in reference to my order. I asked for Mr. Perfect, number 117, page 36 and, well, he ain’t so perfect.”

Customer Service: All of our men are 100% guaranteed. We don’t make mistakes here at Make-A-Man.

Disgruntled Customer:  Obviously you do because this guy is no different from any other. He leaves the toilet seat up, loses the cap to the toothpaste, and walks all over my freshly

mopped floor with his muddy boots!  If I wanted that type man I’d keep the one I have.

 

Customer Service: Misses…Gruntled, is it?  If you want Perfect Man you’ll have to talk to God. That line and species was discontinued after Adam.

Disgruntled Customer: Then why is it in the catalog!

Customer Service: If I recall correctly, page 36 says “Mr. Perfect,” which means near perfect; and Allen, the gentlemen you ordered, is as near perfection as it gets in 2013.

Disgruntled Customer:  Yeah, but that isn’t–

Customer Service:  He’s working in every other sense, right?

Disgruntled Customer: Yes. But…

 

Customer Service: As long as he is working and doesn’t run off without notice, or harm you physically, there is nothing we can do.

Disgruntled Customer: No refund?

Customer Service: I’m afraid not. If you had read the fine print you would have seen our no return policy.

 

 

sms/2011

Posted in Writer's Prompts, Writing and all its cousins

Power To the Powder

So, I was playing around yesterday afternoon and came across a prompt/challenge from the Nanoers over on FB. The idea was to take a snack and give it a story.

He wasn’t like the other donuts. He was plain—no glaze, no chocolate, just round and ordinary. But today was the day.  He’d been watching the baker for weeks.  Today was the day he’d sneak in and have an affair with the powder!

Would she go for him?  He wasn’t sure, with her being so sweet and all. Plus, she was white and, well, he was a little on the brown side.  But together they could do great things.

sms/2013

Posted in Writer's Prompts, Your Turn

Snippets & Prompts

We are lost.  Very lost.  Because dad doesn’t believe in GPS devices or road maps.  It has been this way since my childhood. In fact, I recall one summer afternoon in which we circled around a Holiday Inn for hours because daddy couldn’t figure out the exit and refused to pull over and ask for directions.

So, anyway, we’re in the middle of god-knows-where, and all I can think of is that movie; you know, the one with the crazy, flesh-eating family. What is it called? Chainsaw Massacre?

I bite my nails as the sun goes down over an open field and wonder how in the world Dad plans to get us out of this one.

*

sms/3-2013

Just playing around.  The prompt called for a voyage and deserted island.  However, I’ve used my creative license to come up with something else.  Now that I think about it, we should do A ROUND ROBIN!

Come on Ritx, Ike, Miss Elizabeth and fellow scribes. Let’s crank this baby up and come up with a short story.  

Ready? Set? Let’s do it!

Posted in everyday living, Writing

Oh the Joy…

Imagine my delight upon opening my email this morning and seeing that my short-short story won first place in the prompt/story contest:

Welcome to Kaytown

I am tempted to elaborate and make it a longer work of fiction, but then there is that part of me that finds it rather haunting as it is.

Read it for yourself and feel free to give feedback.

 

On another note, what projects are you currently working on?  How is it going? Do share.

Posted in life and reflection

Random: A through Z

  • All things considered, life is good.
  • By the way, I’m stalling on a writing project. (Bad, bad, shameful)
  • Could you just…bob your heads and pretend you’re listening?
  • Determination will get me through this draft.
  • Either way, I’m going to write something of significance tonight.
  • Forgive me if it takes a couple of hours.
  • Guess what else?

 

  • Hurricane Issac passed our city.
  • It appears all we’ll get is a nice, comfy drizzle.
  • Just in case, I bought water and bread. Do hotdog buns count?
  • “K” is kind of hard to come up with.
  • Love.  I’m sick of it! Sick of all the cheesy movies and love-struck couples.

 

  • Maybe I’ve been married long enough to know that love is…compromise, commitment, chaos, and all the other c’s.
  • No, I don’t have a point.  There is no point to this blog post.
  • Occasionally, I make list, just for the heck of it.
  • Please continue to read anyway.

 

  • Questions–I have one for you–at the end.
  • Reaching. I’ve reached for the same thing for a long time.
  • So…are you still here?
  • Tempted to step out into uncharted territory and grab my dream.

 

  • Ultimately, it’s all improv (life). Seriously, how could we possibly script LIFE?!
  • “V” is also hard. Oh, my vacation was…interesting. I’ll have to write about it one day.
  • What happens to a dream deferred? Langston never really told me.
  • X-temperaneous nonsense. That is what this is.
  • Your turn.  Try it.  It’s fun!
  • ZZZZZZZZZZZ. That means…goodnight, and have a great Thursday/Wednesday night, everybody.